This is the last entry of a diary from a guy who listened to the Merzbox in its entirety over several months.
And this is what gets me about the whole thing- in equal measure of five seconds of Avril Lavigne's “Complicated” and any of Merzbow's compositions on this disc we have the same emotions being expressed. A palpable depression that is nearly oppressive due to the fact that life is this horrible monstrosity that we have to muddle through in the search, the hope that someday we can find some degree of comfort in the madness that surrounds us. Lavigne uses the constructs of a pop song that was built for her in a studio by white men who know how to tap into the minds of average music lovers. Merzbow uses the constructs of an experimental composition that he built himself in the confines of a studio in Japan and he obviously knows how to tap into the minds of experimental music lovers. Is one inherently better than the other? Essentially they are using two different languages to communicate, arguably, the same feelings. It's like comparing the relative worth of the English language to French. The overriding feeling that I get when listening to Merzbow and thinking about the music afterwards is how utterly pedestrian it sounds at a certain point- he is constantly searching for something, craving some sort of resolution, much in the same way that love songs on the radio are always pining for some sort of resolution. Most of these resolutions have to do with relationships, which leads me to believe that Merzbow has created a 50 CD peon to unrequited, failed, and successful love.