I sound like a Russian. Except in English.
Abi took me off her friend's list this wouldn't bother me, except it really does.
I guess when you don't talk to someone for several years, they start to think you don't think about them.
I should im while I still can.. argh. Stupid regrets.
And fuck, they are SO many people I wanna catch up with.
But I don't feel like I've really done anything since I've seen them, so I don't have the push to get back in touch or anytihng.
I am nowhere in my eyes. But I'll try to look at another way...
It's 6am. I've been watching long-form anxiety-filled porn for hours. I have a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it. And instead, I'm watching porn.
I'm stressed. I miss Abi. I mean I never really knew her, but I miss her. Knowing she was gonna look at something really pushed me to do it farther. I really respect her and her stuff. She's funny as hell. And I guess I'd like to be friends with her.
But maybe she's off the whole internet thing, like I am some days.
I dunno. I started her an email, I think I'll just send her a link to this instead. Wierd how things change, but feelings stay the same.
I've gotta learn to let go without being such a wreck about it.
I'm just suprised that I'm hurt at all. Maybe I shouldn't be. But fuck. She's so cool.
She's the one in the Grover mask: http://www.owlnet.rice.edu/~vicko/atcatkulturapparatus
I just wish she'd thought I was too.
This entry is like some big long sigh between drags on a filtered cigarette.
I really miss hearing from her. Cause I do.
